I felt restless for a little while today. It’s a day off, and I have things to do, but I really didn’t feel like doing anything. I wanted to take a break, relax and do nothing, or whatever I felt like doing. For a little while, I couldn’t seem to come to terms with that.
The idea that I was wasting the day came into my head. Before I examined the idea, I was out of my chair and pacing my house collecting ideas for things to do. At one point, I even had something of a plan of attack beginning to form.
But then I realized I was restless. I realized I was pacing. I realized that I was trying to control. I stopped. I relaxed. I gave myself the day off.
I’ve been in this situation before, pacing and feeling pressured by my own self to get something done. I wasn’t always so quick to realize that I was feeling restless. I could pace and fret for hours, getting nothing done, but not relaxing at all either.
I don’t attempt to maintain control in my life anymore, so the feeling of trying to control was fairly pronounced. It wasn’t hard to recognize. I suppose that’s just one more benefit to letting go and accepting what is. When you’re not letting go, it’s very apparent.
So, I let go. I let myself watch videos and take naps and tinker with this and that, and I had a fantastic day. I ended up getting a fair amount of work done, but it didn’t feel like work. I feel relaxed, rested and very happy with the day.
It doesn’t help anything to fret over what to do. It doesn’t help to try to control.
I was trying to replace the battery in my smoke alarm a few nights ago, and I couldn’t seem to do it right. Again and again I tried, and again and again the alarm chirped to tell me the battery needed to be replaced. I began to get frustrated, and that’s when I stopped.
I don’t care to feel frustrated, so I stopped what I was doing. I smiled at the frustration, took a few deep breaths and said aloud, “Help me.” Then I put the battery in, and it never chirped again.
In the past, I may have ripped the alarm from the ceiling and thrown it into the street, or I may have burned the house down in order to just start over. Okay, I wouldn’t have been that dramatic, but I would’ve been upset and probably continued to fail at changing the battery.
The answer is always to let go and use the Force, or whatever you use.
Just let go.